sunday 1:27pm
been wanting to blog recently.
deleted all my old post.
been really stressed out recently.
why is it that i cant do what i wanna do ?
i really dont understand.
why is it everything that i do is according to my parents and not based on my own decision ?
been wanting to study Business course.
now that i hold a Diploma in Nursing made it even more difficult for me to study business.
when i was year 2 in nyp nursing, i wanted to quit so badly.
i told dad, he said NO.
so i tot ok, i jus finish it off first and then do wat i wanna do, later on...
but yet, this morning when i told dad that i wanna go back and study...
he said study wat ?
DEGREE IN NURSING ?
and i said NO, DEGREE IN BUSINESS.
in fact, i knew from the first place that dad will not agree to Business but yet he wil definitely support me if i wanna study Nursing.
BUT, why would i wanna study NURSING again when it is not what i like and definitely i wont be a nurse for the rest of my entire life ?
i just simply dont understand.
im so lost.
sometimes i just wanna run away from this stressful life.
sometimes i just think that if im dead, it would be so much better.
i dont really see any purpose for working so hard and earning so much money.
after you earn that much of money, whats next ?
and then ? and so ?
the next moment u know, ur old and its time to pass on.
just dont understand many things.
and people.
putting on fake mask in front of you.
this is life u know.
from wat i see, life is about studying so much, working so hard, backstabbing collegues at work so that u get urself noticed, earning lotsa money, start a family and DIE.
this is LIFE.
just so stressed out.
dont like my job, wanna resign but i cant -- dad wil b very upset.
wanna study business but cant -- dad wil only want me to study nursing.
the only reason why i repeated 1 of the semester in nursing yr 3 was because i couldnt stand studying for nursing anymore that i stopped going to school.
yes, i skipped school.
skipped many many of the lectures and even tutorials.
in fact i don even know who my lecturers are for some of my modules.
reason for all these was because i DO NOT like what i was studying.
but i had to, for dad's sake.
i dont even see all these was for myself.
and everything was because i respect my dad.
thats all.
nevermind.
i've decided to save my own money and study.
starting from sept i wil start my savings.
